[From my drafts]
I don’t have a thing. I think this comes from being a spoiled child in the pop culture era. I obsessed over what was new for a minute, then it was on to the next. For that reason, I feel empty. Like something is missing.
The only thing that remains steady is my fascination with history, culture, and quite frankly .. being rebellious.
But i’m at a point where I don’t know what to read. What to listen to. What to create. What to DO! I’m just here. Trying to find my niche.. but it’s difficult.
Early life crisis? I’ll be 30 next [THIS] year. If I run down my accomplishments, most of my peers would probably deem me successful. Maybe I am? According to our culture and societies measures.
Once I got on my self-identity journey, my obsessive characteristic took a new form. This time it was what I sought versus what I figured I was programmed to feel.
My new dilemma is swimming in the shallow end of the black culture pool, versus the deep end. I’m literally on the ropes.
MUST I decide?