[From My Drafts]
Free Flow – Just writing. Not much editing. Here is nothing.
My truth is that [from my perspective] … there wasn’t ever any real preparation or expectation for my future. My single mother was a hustler. Pops was around [different state] doing lord knows what, shacking up with this or that woman. He always worked and was able to, at the minimum, take care of himself and keep himself kept. I’d see him at least once a year [I think] and he’d send money. Up until I was maybe 15 or 16 we spoke virtually every day. I remember he was infamous for having calling cards. Lol. As an adult, and understanding his peculiar circumstances… I am understanding. It does hurt a little because I feel like he could’ve done more had he really wanted to. I assume he played it safe. *shrugs* idk.
I remember my mother saying she didn’t think about living past 55 because that’s when her mom died. She’s 59 now and honestly, I believe her. I don’t know if it was just life or her own lack of preparation for a rapidly changing world where she stopped, in my eyes, preparing. Her own childhood traumas may also be holding her back. *shrugs* idk.
I always felt like my parents were so smart. Coming of age I realized they were just naturally intellectual. I also learned that being smart doesn’t really equate to anything. Being strategic does. It’s not about getting the best grade or award, but your efforts getting you the golden opportunities.
My mother was a hustler (ask about her!) I was her child. Therefore, all I really understood was endless money and new shit. My mother didn’t have a career so to speak. She’s a chef.. she worked at a good number of food establishments. Usually higher end ones like the Chevy Chase Country Club and Gaylord Hotels and Resorts. Through it all, she ran her own catering company. So for real, for real.. I was raised off of Nourish Catering & hustle money. I remember wanting to drop out of college freshman year because I was tired of school.. I wanted to make some money. Quick and on my own terms.
Being half way into my own avenue of hustling, I lost a lot of money. A ton. Money that in hindsight, should have been invested in equipment and software. Why wasn’t I successful? Because I didn’t have to do it. I still ate and slept well at night whether I made a profit or not because I always knew I’d have access to money.
That’s all I really wanted to get off my chest.